Rock and Roll Yogi

sonic wisdom, stories, sojourns from an artist rocker writer

Archive for the tag “Gnomes”

Suburban Weirdness, Found Objects, and other Insomniac Miscellany

I awoke in the wee wee hours of this morning from AH’s (Almost Husband) delightful snoring, only to discover that I had become the unwilling participant of an odd threesome.  Somehow, despite no memory of it, Lady, our beloved yet large German Shepherd-Black Lab Mix found her way onto my side of the bed, pushed me to the center without waking me, and snuggled her way under the covers, trapping me as the main ingredient of an extremely warm, furry and heavily breathing sandwich.

Needless to say, I couldn’t quite find my way back into a deep sleep.  I lay there, trying to decide my own, as well as Lady’s fate: Do I get up, undo this tangle of four and two legged spoon-age, and commit to sleeplessness?  Or do I attempt to find some deep breathing yogic way back into sleep. This insomniac samsara continued, along with a multitude of random thoughts, blog ideas, and images inserted like endless hyperlinks.  Such as:

My Pink Pig courtesy of Target Bargain Aisle Shopping at the Mall. Note the blue bathtub in the background, and the glamorous “Pony Wall” pig sits on.  (Stay tuned for future posts on our blue and pink bath renos). Despite being a coin bank, with a little coin slot on his back, he remains penniless, on the shelf above my vanity.  I just like him there.  With his friends:

Mini Buddha, Peruvian Good Luck Piglet, Grandma’s 1930’s Lead Paint Turtle.  I’m sure this menagerie will grow with time.

I texted friend and fellow blogger Jocelyn of the Home Tome from Target’s Bargain Aisle on the very day that Pink Pig was purchased, along with other non-essential items, like

A phone/gadget chaise lounge.  Umbrella sold separately.  I was desperate for an intervention.  Jocelyn tried in her most convincing Text-ese to help me “Step away from the bargain aisle”, but her excitement at the Pig’s bold pink cuteness (I sent her an image text) and her poetic ramblings of serving her cell phone a Margherita on her patio, left me sapped of strength, and helpless against the power of Pink Pig.  And Cell Phone Lounge Chairs.  Four of them.  I promised two for her and Rob.  Remember, avoid People, Places and Things when trying to break a bargain-bin addiction.

Jocelyn the blogger – and person – is just cool.  In that crafty, smart, making it all work kind of way.

Ahhhh, those white walls, those high ceilings. She’s the get it done, leave no obvious mess, tie it up in an awesome retro vintage one of a kind object type of gal.  And just when you think you’ve got it all figured out, she throws in her bizarrely funny obsession with Mushrooms, Gnomes, and well…you’ll have to click over on her site to check it all out.

Despite the fact that I am a little more of a wild, gray-blonde streaked hair flying, leave a trail of crumpled post it notes, coffee cups, and muddy dog paw prints, wrap-it-up in some old lumber ties left over from that Home Depot run, type gal, we seem to have a nice synergy.  For starters, we have a weird Gnome obsession.  More on Magical Woodland Creatures at a later time.  Essentially, we both fit a little bit into what I am calling “Suburban Weirdness”.  You can follow that concept in images, and others, on my new Pinterest Page.  And there is now a new category here on the blog as well.

Our latest weirdness is an exchange of items Via the Mailbox.  It started with my sneaky secret gnome-like drive-by late evening delivery of those cell phone chaise loungers-straight into her mailbox with a little note.  Jocelyn liked this.  And then she one-upped me.

A Monday Morning Mailbox Muffin deposit.  Text Alert at 10am.  Oy.  These banana-nut confections were delicious with AH’s crazy home-roasted and brewed coffee, as well as with a cold glass of milk before bed. Yum.  I consider our mailbox exchanges cute yet a little weird in that – these things only happen in the Suburbs – kind of way.  I wonder what will be delivered next.  Perhaps we should start a Monday Morning Muffin Mailbox Delivery Service to all the Freelancing-Work-From-Home folks in the ‘Burbs who feel the need for their own version of a “Hang around the Cooler Office Chat”.  Almost Husband Ira (seen below on the right) has his own Suburban Neighbor friendships:

But whereas mine involve baking and shopping and blogging, his involve Hazmat Suits, applying toxic materials to foundations, and drinking beer.  Now I am a feminist, but there’s something suspiciously gendered going on here.

That was an interesting segueway.  I will leave it up to you to determine the Freudian implications.  Let us continue:  Above is another example of Suburban Weirdness.  Yes, this summer, I ran into a local Nyack woman on the sidewalk carrying a gigantic Zucchini.  She was so giddy and freaked out by this creature she’d birthed from her plot in the Nyack Commuity Garden, that she was practically skipping down the sidewalk and I had to stop her to take a pic.  I have to say, in my more than 10 years living in NYC, I never did stop a skipping person on the sidewalk carrying a Zucchini larger than a newborn baby.  Yep, Suburban Weirdness.

She was so overcome, that she shared a beautiful story about how her father had just passed, and she’d tended that garden with love and tenderness and grief, only to discover her plot yielding the most insanely large, healthy veggies yet.  Like they were trying to become Human-Sized.  Full of Spirit.  A Garden of Grief can grow something quite Magical – a Veggie Message from the Other Side.  I believe it.  I continue to feel conversations between me and the folks I’ve lost to that other side.

Here is a found object mise-en-scene between Toy Plastic Soldier (found by Rockland Lake Summer 2012) confronting Toy Plastic Dinosaur (Can’t recall where this was found).  My Dad was a WWII Vet/Writer/Cartoonist who liked odd juxtapositions of objects and words.  So this little scene lives on our kitchen window sill.  Its my way of continuing the conversation. More about Dad in this post here.  And there will be more since I am soon to release a new set of songs, inspired by our relationship, on Veteran’s Day 11/11.  I’ll keep you posted.  For the locals reading this, you’ll be able to hear me and my band live, and buy your own copy of the CD on that day Here.

Well, we’ve journeyed the inner workings of my insomniac-al mind.  Thanks for coming along.  My stomach is rumbling, I wonder if Jocelyn will make me some chocolate banana zucchini muffins next.  Lady has followed me to the couch and is sleeping soundly.  The infomercials are in full bloom on TV right now.  I want to, but don’t think I can, tie all of these random bits into some absolute nugget of glistening wisdom.  You”ll have to connect the dots for me, since I’m sure you are reading this after having a sound night’s sleep.  Feel free to comment below once you’ve sorted it all out.

The only thing I can say concretely, as I finally drift back to sleep:  Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow.

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